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LET US STAND UP AGAINST THE CHRISTMAS ONSLAUGHT by Bill Lee

 There is a quiet campaign circulating, on social and traditional media, pleading the case for delaying the advertising of Christmas events until after November 11th. This day has long been set aside for the observance of Remembrance for the price many men and women have paid over the years, as members of Canada’s armed services, who have either died, or been injured, whether physically, mentally or emotionally, from their involvement in one or the other of our military engagements. I’m not a big fan of the military (I came back to Canada to avoid the USA Draft in the 1960s) nor am I always happy with the way in which Observance Days have been shaped and presented. At the same time however, I understand the logic and need for a day to focus on the men and women who have suffered from their time in the services. They deserve some serious thought and consideration. Having the juggernaut, that is the Christmas season, intrude on that one special day seems needlessly thoughtless and hurtful.


But I have another idea about dealing with the festive season. How about holding off until the 12th of December before any references to Christmas are inflicted upon the public? Hawking bargains for Christmas shopping and the dreaded pre-Christmas sales are as egregiously annoying as they are “all over the place.” Think of our eyeballs being able to cast about our environments without being inundated by the sight of the (mostly) tacky decorations; the insufferably jovial Santa Clauses, cutesy Bambi-like reindeer (has no one ever seen a genuine reindeer?) and those angels which would doubtless render the likes of Michelangelo, Rafael, da Vinci and Botticelli (to name just a few) sick to their stomachs, not to mention that god-awful character “Rudolf”. Thank the deity we are rarely exposed to the dreadful “Pumpkinhead” anymore. I believe the little bear who had a perennially bad hair day came on the scene in the late 1940’s and was for some reason quite a hit, but we see little of him now. Perhaps a sign of a society maturing?

And I believe that we, as a society, should be prepared to gird our loins and take even stronger action against dreadful Christmas music, which is certainly god-awfully terrible in short spurts, but over a period of weeks (which come to feel like years) amounts to coldblooded torture. How about we rise up as citizens and demand that our governments enact stiff regulations about Christmas music? I think the 20th of December should provide even the most sentimental lover of Yuletide carols, and the more secular, offerings to obtain their fill. Let us leave the wretched cheesy Christmas “music” off the public airwaves and the sound systems of the stores, big box and otherwise. If pressed, perhaps we could grant a whole week, so the 18th. I’m thinking the whole range of dreck here.1 (The full range of second, or even third, rate stuff whether religious or secular.) On the religious side we have the lugubrious and hackneyed offerings like “Silent Night”, “O Little Town of Bethlehem” and of course, the more contemporary “Little drummer boy”. (I believe the Bing Crosby and David Bowie version was once voted the worst Christmas song ever.)

On the secular side2 we are talking about appalling musical dross like, “Here comes Santa Claus”, “Rudolf the red nosed reindeer”, “I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”, “Jingle bells” and the horribly sentimental “White Christmas”. Bing Crosby was the initiator of this lugubrious piece of saccharin3 drivel but it seems that we never reach a saturation point and countless pop singers over the years have fallen all over themselves, Michael Bublé for example, to be among the gangs to inflict that piece of cheese on the unsuspecting public. One strange example is that, Iggy Pop, for some reason felt compelled to offer his rendition. It also has the distinction of being voted the worst Christmas song ever.

But this is relatively old stuff and with Christmas music we have plenty of more contemporary examples of lousy music. “Jingle bell rock, and “Rockin around the Christmas tree” in particular; though Mariah Carrey4 not long ago saw fit to insert another lousy tune, “All I want for Christmas is you” into the list of noxious yuletide offerings. Apparently, Christmas slush is like those unwelcome gifts from the office party which keep getting shoddier year by year.

So, there are two worthy causes here, two projects that are a call for citizen action; allowing the Vets, and their families, to have their day without the intrusion of Christmas mania; and second, a delay of that mania until into December to spare the public from the deluge of atrociously garish, sentimental, noisy and just plain bad, taste. These two things together would strike a blow for common decency on the one hand and common sense on the other.


Resources

Menon, V. (2021). Carrey’s New Song, a lump of Christmas coal. Toronto Star. November 7.
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1 I must make it clear that I am not suggesting that selections of good and great music, that has a long connection to Christmas – Bach’s Christmas Oratorio for example, or has some become associated with it, “Handel’s Messiah” (which was originally written as an Easter Oratorio) - be excluded from the “public square”. For one thing ,works like these have demonstrated their timelessness beauty and quality. Further, they are never heard on endless play lists of music blared over a big box sound system or appear on a top 40 or Oldies radio station. For another, those of us who wish to partake of the joy of this music will either play it on our own systems or purchase tickets to concerts.

2 I should also make it clear that I am not suggesting that if some of us who, at that time of year, and for whatever reason, feel the compulsion to listen to Bing Crosby crooning “White Christmas” or Brenda Lee belting out “Rockin Around the Christmas Tree” should be prevented from using their own homes for their peculiar pleasure. Taste in music is a personal thing and as long as it does not insist on dominating the public space, we have to allow it to be “enjoyed” in the privacy of one’s own home.

3 According to the Guinness Book of World Records, Crosby’s "White Christmas” is not only the best-selling Christmas/holiday single in the United States, but also the best-selling single of all time. This is one of those sad bits of news that, sometimes in my worst moments, leads me to question whether we will ever see real justice in this sad old world of ours.

4 In addition to this excrescence (2021) Vinay Menon, informs us that Mariah Carey unloaded a new and quite third rate Xmas video prior to Halloween which, in the interests of good taste, I decline to describe

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